Slowly Drifting Toward a Major Crash
May 11, 2022
Business Leader - It's a subtle drift - isn't it?
From crushing it to it crushing you.
It's not only subtle. It's difficult to acknowledge.
It seems to be more true for men than women. I don't know if that's true, but it seems that way. Men struggle to admit things aren't working out the way they were planned.
It first shows up as stress. As a weight that can be managed (if not carried for too long.) Kind of like holding a 5# weight. It's not heavy at first, because it's only 5 pounds. However, after an hour... 2... 3... it becomes unbearable. Same weight. Time to hold it gets to you though.
Stress leads to internal battles. Mentally and emotionally.
Mentally, a bad script starts playing and amplifying. "Do I have what it takes? Am I good enough? Do I belong here?" Or, they progress from questions to statements: "I can't do this... I'm a failure... I don't belong here or deserve this..."
YET, the proverbial "game face" goes on each and every day for public view from the time you wake up until you go back to bed.
Add to it the answer of "I'm doing ok", or some version of it, whenever asked, and you're golden as far as other people know.
BUT, you're still holding the weight and it's getting heavier.
Emotionally, frustration becomes anger. And, eventually, neither the frustration nor the anger, can be bottled up 100% of the time.
Emotions start to come out on those who matter the most to you. Isn't it strange that the first person to be impacted is your spouse? Then your home feels it. But, history tells us that our home catches the brunt of it first. Anger. Short-fuse. Outbursts. Or, withdrawal. Quiet. Secluded.
Either way, you're drifting towards a place you did not believe in. A crash is inevitable unless something is done about it.
BUT, chances are pretty good that you don't believe that - yet. And, to make it ok, you tell yourself, and anyone else, that it'll be ok... things will turn around... etc. Only its words not backed with actions.
And that frigging weight is getting heavier.
Now, you have to cope with the pain of knowing the truth within. You have to find relief. Something to take the edge off. Something to ease the pain. Something to take your mind off of things.
AND, you're likely to turn to something not healthy instead of something that can truly help. Instead, it's something that can't do anything good other than ease the pain... medicate... mask...
AND, the spiral continues. The drift toward the rocks continues. Slowly, but it's happening.
Your work/life balance worsens. There are now people, places, and things you start avoiding. You don't want to deal with them or face it.
People who know you know something is up.
It can get really tricky here. You have to make another huge decision - only you have to make it hundreds of times. Will you admit things are out of whack... that the weight is getting heavy OR will you crank it up and go harder, louder and faster...
Most go with the latter. A few go with the former.
The weight is about to be dropped. It's about to do damage. We're on fumes now. It's only a matter of time.
AND, when the weight drops... the ripple effect is far-reaching... the felt impact goes beyond you. Again, it's weird - although it felt like a personal battle, it was anything but private. It impacts more than you'd want it to. And, certainly, more than you budgeted for the fall-out.
The damage is beyond what was assumed. The chances of rebuilding, or recovering, are greatly diminished. Heck, if you think building was difficult, rebuilding is that times 100. And, it's likely, that there's nothing in your life that's not been impacted.
AND, it's almost all avoidable, by making changes BEFORE the crash. Before things get away from you. Before the weight becomes unbearable.
I don't know if it's the most ironic part of this but, this all started from going after something like there was no tomorrow. Working harder than ever. Only to create a monster that demanded to be fed more than expected. And, the fallout started because you didn't know any other way than working harder...
Another irony is, if you had learned, there's another way. It's 100% possible to work less and still achieve the goals you've set out for.
But, you don't believe that. Do you?
Don't wait... let's talk.