Boundaries 
Written by Bob Groves 
Let’s talk about boundaries… lines… rules…

When the boundary is a door, it’s easy to see & understand. On one side of the door, you’re inside and on the other side you’re outside. And, without major construction, it stays in place.

What about about non-tangible boundaries?

Although the same rules should apply, that’s not always the case.

Here’s what you & I know…

1 - Boundaries are good.

Whether physical, emotional or other…they are good.

2 - Boundaries can move too easily.

Unlike physical boundaries, non-tangible boundaries can be moved in a moment.

For example: 

You don’t get married to not sleep with your spouse. However, one night you both get upset and one of you sleeps on the couch.

A boundary has now been moved.

One of the greatest challenges with boundaries:
3 - ONCE moved, everything associated with it is redefined.

For example: 

You're trying to make a point with your spouse. They’re not getting it. So, you cuss to “get their attention”. It works. Subtly, or not, the boundary just moved.

Now, the next time you’re having one of those same moments, if you’re not careful, you’ll cuss again.

Remember - once moved, everything associated with it is redefined.
When saying just one cuss word no longer works, if you’re not really careful, you’ll move the boundary again.

The same goes in any and all areas relationally.

New boundaries redefine everything.

New boundaries become the new norm.

And

Because they aren’t visible, they move almost without notice.

And once they’ve been moved once, they become much more easy to move again.

And again.

And again.

Slowly.

Subtly.

Until...
4 - You get to a place you don’t even know how you got there.

And the distance back to where you started seems almost inconceivable.

Almost impossible.

If you’ve moved boundaries and you’re not sure what to do about it… how to get back to where you started… or, if you can get back…

I’ve been there.

I can help.

Let’s talk.



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